Another day, another cycle...

Man, have you ever wanted something SO bad that when you were denied over and over it just ripped at your heart piece by piece? That's how I feel right now... As most of my readers know, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year and a half. It adds up to 20 cycles. We were just denied that joy again this weekend.

I sometimes feel like God knows what I want, I'm supposed to get it (at some point), and that since so much growth and change has happened in my life in the past month that THIS was my month. Well, that's really how May/June felt. Even my body reacted differently this cycle, almost like a "reset" button had been pressed. What I DON'T get is why that would happen, and nothing?!

Then there are times where I look back on other areas of my life where I was tortured time and time again by my desire and the rejection. I was just thinking back at all of the guys I had liked from high school through college, and how I felt crestfallen whenever I was denied "the one". If only I had known that the ONE God had in store for me was so amazing, I would have been content. Hindsight is 20/20.

Ok, Sarah, what are you getting at? While I know in my heart I'm meant to have a child, and my heart LONGS for a child (as does my husband's), I also know that if I knew what God knows, I would make the SAME decision that He is making. There is SOME reason why I'm supposed to wait... patiently or not... and praise Him even in my sorrows.

Is this my lot in life? To desire, be denied, and be heartbroken, only to rise back up and praise God in His sovereignty? No, there will be times when my desire will be granted, and I will skip the heartbreak and go straight to joy and praising God. Ultimately, our life is such a SHORT span of time in comparison with eternity. How can I sit here, complaining about this tiny, almost meaningless section of time, when I can be preparing for the greatness that is eternity?

Goal #11: New Recipe of the week

So this week DH was out of town, so I decided to embark on embracing an ingredient I love and he loves to hate (as does the majority of the rest of the world)... What is it?

BRUSSEL SPROUTS!!! YUM!!!

Ok, so here's the link to the basic recipe I used: http://orangette.blogspot.com/2006/12/best-thing-since-brussels-sprouts.html

Ok, so now what you have all been waiting for... Pictures!!!

::Getting caramelized in butter::

::Flipped, cooked more, and ready for the cream::

::Cream and salt added, ready to cover and simmer::

::Ready to let the cream thicken::

::SO delicious::

 

Hope you enjoyed this share!! These are freaking DELICIOUS! I didn't use the lemon juice, but I'm sure it would be delicious in it as well!

25 before 25

Ok, so what is up with this random post out of nowhere? Well, I recently had my 24th birthday, and I had been contemplating doing a list of 25 goals before I turn 25!! So, in no particular order, here we go!

1. Organize our entire house
2. Do portrait sessions for charity
3. Ride a horse
4. Paint a new painting
5. Sell at least one photo as a fine art piece
6. Finish painting our house (5 of 8 rooms left!!)
7. Re-decorate the master bedroom
8. Set up a dedicated photography space
9. Go to Europe
10. Host a "girls night"
11. Try 1 new recipe each week
12. Make a special meal once every month for DH (with his favorite elements)
13. Buy DH a random surprise present for no reason
14. Read (at least) one book each month
15. Eat every meal at home for a full week
16. Go camping
17. Learn a new dance with DH
18. Visit a new museum
19. Hike the 3 mile LaChua Trail and brave the alligators, bison, snakes, and wild horses!
20. Learn some conversational elements of a foreign language
21. Go to a zoo
22. Go on an all girls trip
23. Meet another SPNer
24. Buy digital copies of my favorite novels
25. Lose 20 pounds!!

A non-goal, goal: each goal will be photographically documented!!

I'm sorry for being MIA!

Hi everyone!! I'm really sorry to all of you who have been checking my blog and been DISAPPOINTED!!! My life has been busy and somewhat undergoing a change.

About me now: I'm almost done with my photography class, I'm going to start SBing (skill building) through a photography charity drive, and then I will research for potentially (still not sure) starting PBing (portfolio building) and going professional! Who knows?! The world is at my door, I just have to answer it!

Ok, so where have I been the past month? I will show you!! Prepare for a LONG post! :)

First, a couple of pieces that I had to take for my class! Our categories for this still life assignment were tools and toys. So the first is tools, the second is toys.

Now for a few vacation pictures! I went to a friend's lakehouse for a girl's getaway yarning weekend!

::CHEESECAKE!!!!!!::

::My friend's knitting project::

::The Lake with a fellow bumpie's lens since we had a mini GTG::

Last week, DHh and I went to Niagara Falls for a wedding, and headed up a few days early so we could have some vacation time on our own!! It was beautiful!!

::Canadian Falls::

::American Falls at night::

::Night shot in the cold mist with DH::

Thanks for looking!! Sorry I've been such a lame poster this past month! I'm hoping that I'll get better??

Bonus post!

Ok, so my life has been NUTS this past week. I really feel like I'm falling behind spiritually. I know I wasn't where I needed to be before we left, but it feels like I've fallen even further backwards. I can't tell you the last time I had an alone "quiet time" with God that wasn't prompted by small group or a conference...

Now that I'm looking at photographing a youth conference this weekend with my church, it's really got me thinking. I need to take a step back, look at my life, and figure out how everything fits... On one hand, I have my photography, school, the required assignments, and the passionate stuff that I do for fun. On the other hand, I have our whole TTC process (btw I confirmed O this weekend while we were away! My mom always jokes that you don't go to Myrtle Beach if you don't want to come home pregnant... That's where my sister, at least one of my cousins, and myself were all conceived!)But I digress...

So I have all of these things going on in my life, and I really tend to struggle with fitting God in there. I know the Sunday School answer, "God shouldn't have to 'fit' in your life. He should be over everything." And while I know that's technically true, it's SO tough to apply it. One way in which I feel like I'm doing better since I picked up photography is seeing God as the ornate artist and creator. I see macro shots that I take and put on my computer, and I see things in the flowers that I couldn't see with my eye. It's incredible!!

Anyway, thanks for reading my ramblings. Pray for me that I find out how to work this all together to create a smooth life for me!!!

I'm home!!! (huge post!!!)

I know, it's been FOREVER since I posted!! I had a great vacation, and some great rest afterward!

Ok, where we went/what we did:

Thursday the 10th:
We drove to po-dunk SC (literally the middle of nowhere) to meet with DH's superintendent before the big job thing on Friday. It was nasty rainy and windy, but I managed to get a few shots.

::They got SOME concrete on the tank Thursday before the rain::

::Sand-covered Rebar::

::Stormy skies floating away::

Thursday evening we decided to go stay with my uncle, aunt, and two youngest cousins. They are HAMS!!!!

Friday the 11th:
We got up at 5:00 (WOW!) and left by 6am to head back to po-dunk!! This was the sunrise we drove towards!

The rest of the workday was spent watching these guys shoot concrete onto a tank:

And I made a new friend!!

Around 4 we left for our next destination... The beach! I saw these beautiful blossoms when we stopped for dinner, and we drove away from the sunset.

Saturday the 12th:
Waking up to the beach! Then a journey to Wilmington, NC to visit one of my girlfriends!!

Then we got SUPER touristy and went to the USS North Carolina (pictured above)

Sunday the 13th:
We visited my grandparents' beach house and went for a walk on the beach (it was still closed up for the winter so we couldn't stay there).

::I coerced him to get in the water... It was FREEZING!!!::

::The old, dependable cabana that my dad and some of his buddies built::

Monday the 14th:
I'm on my way home! I stopped in Charleston County at the Hampton Plantation to get in touch with my southern heritage. It was breathtaking!! These pictures don't do any of it justice.

::The owner forged this ornate bench HIMSELF::

March 9th: No pictures...

So today turned into a crazy and chaotic day. My husband and I have been TTC for 15 cycles now. Earlier this week, his schedule changed and he was no longer going to be home at ALL during the window for this cycle. So I had to drop a coffee date with a girlfriend, a dinner outing with a few couples (our Bible study group), dinner with my husband's best friend and his wife (we've been trying to do a dinner with them for TWO YEARS!!), and my nephew's FIRST birthday party that I was so excited to do a cake smash photo shoot for!

I'm so upset and frustrated, but when I think about the bigger picture, the fact that this could be our cycle, I know I'm doing the right thing. So we're off on an adventure tomorrow! Tomorrow he will be inspecting the tank (his company builds concrete tanks), and then Friday he will be overseeing the big shooting of the concrete process for the tank! I'm so excited to be able to take pictures of this process! Who knows, maybe his work will pay me for the photos!

Anyway, I'm trying really hard to see the good out of all of this frustrating nonsense. Hopefully I will come back with some great action shots, as well as some great beach shots from the weekend. Also, both my sister and I, as well as several of my cousins were conceived at my grandparent's beach house!! We won't be staying there because it hasn't been cleaned out after winter, but we'll be going to the beach right there and I will show my husband the outside, so MAYBE that extreme fertility will rub off on me?? :)

Hopefully I will be able to post some this weekend (it will most likely just be text and no pictures unless I can get to a Starbucks and have wifi!). Thank you all my lovely readers!!! A treat for you from Monday: